1. When the system engineer says it comes to her aid, disconnect from the network and go for a coffee. Let us not wait for us is no problem to remember all the user keys.
2. When you call to tell us to change your computer's site, make sure you leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, pictures of their children, animals of all kinds, dried flowers, various trophies, etc. To us, as we have no private life, we love to take a look at yours.
3. When the system engineer to send an email of high importance, delete it immediately without reading: Chances are we're doing tests.
4. When the system engineer is having lunch, including without consideration and explain your problems waiting to be answered on the spot. We are here to serve you and always ready to solve problems.
5. When the system engineer is taking a quiet coffee, ask something about computers. The only reason we go for coffee, is to meet people who do not have email or telephone.
6. Send all your messages capitalized. The mail server will pick it up immediately and treat it as urgent message.
7. When you call the engineer, press the number 5 to skip the message that tells who is on holiday and record your message. Then, wait exactly 24 hours before sending an email directly to their boss complaining that they have received no response to his call. You do not deserve this treatment.
8. When the photocopier does not work, call the systems engineer. Finally, the copier is cable, right?
9. When your modem give the message: 'No Dial Tone' at home, call the systems engineer. We can troubleshoot phone from anywhere.
10. When your computer does not work, throw over the seat of the systems engineer and leave no paper with his name or description of the problem. We love the mystery.
11. When the system engineer will be explaining how to change any settings on your setup, please read the paper. In fact, do not expect you have to do anything, we just love to hear us when we explain ourselves something.
12. When we give an explanation about a program, do not bother to learn. We will always be there to do it again.
13. When the printer does not print, forward their work at least 20 times. Sometimes you try to print jobs disappear into the cosmos for no apparent reason.
14. Do not use the help that comes in the programs. These on-line aids are only for gross.
15. When taking a computer course, feel free to practice with the corporate network and install and test everything you want. We are happy working until dawn to fix all the damage you cause.
16. When the systems engineer asked if any new program installed on your computer, lie. Nobody cares what you have on your PC!
17. If your mouse cord always pulls porcelain kitty you have on the table, lift the computer and run over the cord with it. Mouse cables are designed to hold 80 kilos of weight.
18. When you are showing the typical window 'Are you sure ...', always answer' Yes' or 'OK'. If you were not sure would not have done, right?
19. Feel completely free to say 'I have no idea about this computer crap. " A we never bothered when people say that our profession is shit.
20. When you need to change the toner cartridge, call the systems engineer. The cartridge change is an extremely complicated and Epson recommends that only make an engineer with a master's degree in hardware.
21. When you need to print zillions of pages, do not ever go printing little by little: Send them all at once! The rest can wait, you have priority.
22. When you are by chance your systems engineer for the weekend, do not hesitate to ask questions about computers. We work 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, including the beach in summer, snow in winter, supermarkets, cinemas, etc..
24. When we bring her home to clone computer that fix it for free, please remember us that it is urgent for the evening can you play solitaire. Here we are! We have too much time, and the day is so long. All However, everyone knows that constantly lose time surfing the Internet!
25. When you need the help of the systems engineer to make a presentation, not be anxious, you can pass a few hours earlier. Do not you know we can do miracles?
Oh, and excuse us for being computer engineers!
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